Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Well Knock Me Over with a Feather

Hey Y'all...

My teenager tells me he needs some new sneakers and some new jeans. (somehow his clothes have been disappearin' since he started doing his own laundry. Yeah, I can't figure it out either) So I pick him up from school and we head to one of the two stores in town where we can actually buy shoes and clothes.* After tryin' on 5 pairs of sneakers, he decides that the most expensive ones are the most comfortable ones (are you surprised? didn't think so). So we're standin' at the cash register and I look over at him and he's got his arms open. Open?

"Hug?" he asks.

"What??" I ask back.

"I wanna hug," he says.

"Really? Why?" I ask. (what else could he want? I just bought the most expensive pair of shoes in the store!)

"Just 'cause."



So what did I do? I picked my amazed ass up off the floor and hugged my crabby, don't-talk-to- me-in-public, bigger than me, 15-year-old son.

Sometimes parenting does have its rewards.

Thanks for listenin'

*I am totally serious - we only have TWO clothes/shoe stores in town. If we want a wider variety we have to drive for 45 minutes. Sometimes livin' in the mountains sucks :O)

Sunday, February 21, 2010

What Do You Do With Teenagers?

Hey Y'all...

I have such a heart for teenagers. I know this is why my husband and I have been involved in Young Life for a decade. I often find myself wonderin' how my life may have turned out if I had known about Young Life when I was in high school. I want so much to help teens avoid some of the mistakes that I made when I was their age. Unfortunately, some (most) of them don't believe that I actually do understand some of what they're goin' through.

My son showed me a text the other day that he got from his best friend's girlfriend. It said that she had had sex with her boyfriend (the best friend) WITHOUT A RUBBER! My immediate gut reaction was to smack the best friend upside the head (he is like another child to me and my husband, so I don't know if this would constitute child abuse...:) My son begged me not to say anything to anyone because he doesn't want his friend mad at him. And I don't want my son mad at me but how do I not talk about this with my friends? I need help. I have asked the few people I have talked to to please pray for my wisdom. And now the girlfriend thinks she might be pregnant. She is in 8th grade and the boyfriend is in 9th! My heart is breaking.

I spend my life workin' with these kids: I am a Young Life leader, I work at the middle school, the high school, and the upper elementaries, yet I don't feel like I'm makin' a difference in any of their lives. I know they like me and think I'm cool, which is great, but I want them to know my love and to know Jesus' love for them and to know that they can have the most awesome life...that God and I both want to give them the very best. Some of my Young Life kids come from hard lives...from abuse to missing parents...and I want them to know that there are adults they can trust, who love them completely and unconditionally. But I don't know how to convince them of this. My daily prayer is simple: "Let me let You." Let me show Your love through my relationships with them, let them see You in me.

Please pray for me - that I can reach these kids and that I'll have the wisdom I need to convince them of Jesus' love for them.

Thanks for listenin'

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Do I Have To?

Hey Y'all...

So, the season of Lent is upon us. I have decided that since I've already given up my favorite things, which would be Salem Lights, tequila*, and ice cream, I'm not givin' up anything else! I'm gonna add something instead. Probly haven't mentioned this yet, but I have been strugglin' with my weight since I quit smokin' the first time in 1990. And...not only did I quit smokin' then, I got a desk job at the same time! (not a good combo) So 20 years later, I'm still tryin' to get rid of the 60 pounds that damn desk job put on my once oh-so-slender frame. Part of the reason I'm havin' such a hard time is that I have an aversion to exercise (and they all said "amen"). I never exercised as a kid - I just rode my bike everywhere and played tennis and softball all summer and skied all winter! But to actually have to go somewhere just to sweat while not havin' fun...well, thanks but no thanks!

Anyway, this ramblin' is just my way of lettin' y'all know that I am adding exercise to my Lenten season! I am purposely gonna get sweaty and I am gonna do it every day! And to make it official, I actually told my husband (who still wears the same waist size as the day I met him - asshole!) and since he works out every day, and sometimes gets up at 5:00 A.M. (yes, that is NOT a typo, I do mean 5 in the morning...) to do it, he is not gonna let me slack off. But because I need to be accountable to more folks than just my man, cuz I can fake a "headache" like nobody's business, I am going to be accountable to you - whoever and where ever you may be!

So - I'd like you to add something to your Lenten season...keepin' me on a tight leash! Thank you for your support :O)

Thanks for listenin'

*and gin and vodka and rum and so on...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Profound? NOT!

Hey y'all...

I suppose I really should be writin' somthin' profound here after my first
official therapy session, but I am still tryin' to process it all. Somethin' to do with my parents and my marriage and the fact that I am unhappy in my "perfect" life. Once I have it a little worked out...

On a lighter note - I did get diamonds for Valentine's day! Not the Tiffany's I was hopin' for, but the fact that my husband (and a guy friend) actually went to the jeweler's and picked out somethin' all by themselves was a miracle in itself! (and I have absolutely no problem buyin' myself Tiffany's if I really need it)

btw...my friend Sarah at http://www.sarahmarkley.com/ recently recommended a book and I'd like to second her recommendation! "Thin Places: A Memoir" by Mary E. DeMuth is fantastic! Like sittin' down to coffee with a good friend and just listenin' to her tell you her story.

Thanks for listenin'

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Hot Flashes & Cigarettes

Hey Y'all

There have been a few things on my mind today. First - I'm tryin' to become an ex-smoker (again)(sigh). Tomorrow it will be two months since I had my last smoke. Mostly I don't miss it, but livin' with a 15-year-old boy - there are days I'm dyin'! I have been an ex-smoker before...I quit for 10 years, after smokin' for 10 years, and was really okay, ('cept for the 60+ pound weight gain) but then my town almost burned down. The whole town was evacuated and our neighborhood was the last to be allowed back in. I spent the better part of a week wonderin' if we would have a house to go home to (we did, kind of...more on that another time). Needless to say, I let the stress of that break me. So I've been a smoker again (on and off) for 10 years. (must be something 'bout the number 10) My issue this time is that the last time I quit, I satisfied my cravings with cookies! This time I gave myself two months without my beloved Salems before openin' the Nutrisystem box that came in the mail last week. So I'm gonna ask for your prayers...for strength to continue not smokin' ('cause I really love smokin' and am always lookin' for a reason to start again) and self-control to stick with the Nutrisystem and actually set-up the Wii Fit I bought six months ago and haven't takin' out of the box!

The other thing that has been on my mind today is "The Dreaded Hot-Flash!" Why oh why do they come on at the most inopportune times??!! But even more than that, I'd like to know if there is a "Hot-Flash-Proof" make-up!? You know, something that won't slide off my face onto the counter at the grocery store and that will somewhat hide the really red face!! If any of y'all know of some - let me know! I'll be forever grateful :O)

Thanks for listenin'

Friday, February 5, 2010

Comin' out of the closet

Hey y'all...

I have a confession to make. I am a closet slob. By this I don't mean that my closets are sloppy (though they are) but that I need to portray a certain image. Everything has to look like I've got it all together. My friends come over and talk about how clean my house is. I've told 'em that it's not clean - just picked up. No one could ever eat off any of my floors! And whatever you do, do not look in any closets or drawers! I just don't like to clean. I have this really great vacuum that I made my husband buy for me. My friend has one and she let me use hers once (to vacuum brick floors UGH) and I decided then and there that I needed that vacuum. Well, I use it so infrequently that one day when I got home from work I heard this strange noise coming from upstairs. I went to investigate - it was my husband and he was vacuumin'! I didn't even recognize the sound. It doesn't help my cleanin' problem that I live in a temporary 60-year-old government house that is about as air-tight as a screen door. Or the fact that I have a 15-year-old son (and friends), a 40+ year-old husband (and friends), and three dogs! Only one of them is a real shedder (one of the dogs, the kid and husband really don't shed much) but she sheds enough for five dogs. I also have hardwood floors and the dust bunnies know where I live! I have seen some that are as big as my malti-poo...I'm thinkin' I should name 'em and give 'em their own room. Now to be truthful - I do have to admit that I am ridiculously anal about somethings. My spice cabinet is alphabetized and if you take something off the mantel to look at it, you'd better put it back exactly where you found it. But for the most part...huh, who cares? I would much rather spend my time readin' a book (on my new Kindle - LOVE it), playin' with my kid, or takin' care of my farm on Facebook. But since I need everyone to think that I have it totally together, my house needs to be picked up, my shoes need to match my belt, which needs to match my sunglasses, which needs to match my purse and and so on... I am loosenin' up a little - I don't run around cleanin' before company (includin' my mother-in-law) and last week I bought a purple purse. I don't have a purple thing in my closet except for my Vikings jersey and I usually don't need a purse when I'm wearin' that! Nothing will match my purple purse which gives me some comfort - no one is going to notice that my belt doesn't match, they're going to be too busy admiring my purple purse! Now if only it was a purple plastic purse I'd have it made!

Thanks for listening :O)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

am i nuts??

Hey Y'all...

My friend Barb (http://www.joyfulnoiseforajoyfullife.blogspot.com/) just recently started a blog and she's been after me to do it since. I have been thinkin' about it and playin' with a page but still haven't made up my mind. I am definitely not a writer and quite often I find myself not a thinker either. Especially when it comes to the garbage inside. I just recently started therapy and I think it's really gonna suck! I was in tears at my first visit and usually I don't cry until at least the sixth or seventh visit. Is that the sign of a good therapist or a bad therapist? IDK. But I do know he is gonna make me work hard and dig deep and I am absolutely terrified. Another blogger friend Lisa Jo (http://thegypsymama.com/) wrote today about how sometimes it's easier. Seems like it'll be easier to open up to my therapist. After all, he has no vested interest in me. But to open up to my husband or to a friend, well I would hafta be a special kind of stoopid to do that! After all, they could leave me after hearin' my story. And that thought is scarier than talkin' to the man (my guru is a guy). I'm prayin' that God will give me the strength and the courage to deal with the crap. (I also pray He provides the tequila!) And what's really funny is that I have spent the last couple of days mullin' over scripture and my own ideas for a talk I have to give Monday night at Wyld Life club (Young Life for middle schoolers) about how God blesses us and wants to bless us and made us so He could bless us. The talk has ended up bein' about gettin' through the kaka (did I spell that right?) with Him and how He blesses us throughout the whole thing. So what on earth am I so afraid of? I know that God will use this therapy as a blessing in my life. I know that my life will be enriched through this process. And I know that my wonderful husband (of 20+ years) will not dump me - he will love me through it just like Jesus will. I'm pretty sure most of my friends won't throw me under the bus either. So I may not be a writer but I just discovered that I definitely am a rambler...

Thanks for listenin' :O)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

testing 123

this is just a test - i'm still deciding if i'm really gonna do this!