Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Comin' out of the closet

Hey y'all...

I have a confession to make. I am a closet slob. By this I don't mean that my closets are sloppy (though they are) but that I need to portray a certain image. Everything has to look like I've got it all together. My friends come over and talk about how clean my house is. I've told 'em that it's not clean - just picked up. No one could ever eat off any of my floors! And whatever you do, do not look in any closets or drawers! I just don't like to clean. I have this really great vacuum that I made my husband buy for me. My friend has one and she let me use hers once (to vacuum brick floors UGH) and I decided then and there that I needed that vacuum. Well, I use it so infrequently that one day when I got home from work I heard this strange noise coming from upstairs. I went to investigate - it was my husband and he was vacuumin'! I didn't even recognize the sound. It doesn't help my cleanin' problem that I live in a temporary 60-year-old government house that is about as air-tight as a screen door. Or the fact that I have a 15-year-old son (and friends), a 40+ year-old husband (and friends), and three dogs! Only one of them is a real shedder (one of the dogs, the kid and husband really don't shed much) but she sheds enough for five dogs. I also have hardwood floors and the dust bunnies know where I live! I have seen some that are as big as my malti-poo...I'm thinkin' I should name 'em and give 'em their own room. Now to be truthful - I do have to admit that I am ridiculously anal about somethings. My spice cabinet is alphabetized and if you take something off the mantel to look at it, you'd better put it back exactly where you found it. But for the most part...huh, who cares? I would much rather spend my time readin' a book (on my new Kindle - LOVE it), playin' with my kid, or takin' care of my farm on Facebook. But since I need everyone to think that I have it totally together, my house needs to be picked up, my shoes need to match my belt, which needs to match my sunglasses, which needs to match my purse and and so on... I am loosenin' up a little - I don't run around cleanin' before company (includin' my mother-in-law) and last week I bought a purple purse. I don't have a purple thing in my closet except for my Vikings jersey and I usually don't need a purse when I'm wearin' that! Nothing will match my purple purse which gives me some comfort - no one is going to notice that my belt doesn't match, they're going to be too busy admiring my purple purse! Now if only it was a purple plastic purse I'd have it made!

Thanks for listening :O)


  1. So proud of your blog! This will change your life. It may not clean up your private messes but it will lighten your heart.

  2. I hear ya on the anal slob. I am not much of a housekeeper, but you look in any of my cabinets and you will find not only alphabetized everything, it is all arranged by use (cooking soups in one row, eating soups in another), but also according to expiration date. I actually take everything out of the cabinet to put groceries away. But the last time I vacuumed? Couldn't tell ya. And laundry? It just piles up til I can't stand it anymore. Then I put it all away according to season, style, color and length on hanger. It's no wonder I hate to put things away. We can be neurotic together.


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