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Okay...I'm on my road trip and after the first totally sucky day, it's gone a lot better. (Other than stoppin' in to see Dad & Grammie - but we only stayed for an hour). Got the big sissy dropped off at her grandma's on Sunday afternoon. After gettin' the truck unloaded and the car trailer dropped off, I headed Up North to see my sister and gorgeous nieces. Took them to the water park in my hotel and out to dinner. Being the perfect auntie that I am, I told them each they could have dessert! Of course, none of them could finish...oh well. That's what out-of-town aunties are for. (spoilin' them)
Monday I met up with the little sissy and the grand and went to pop the daughter's IKEA cherry. Spent hours wanderin' and oohin' and aahin' over just about everything. Ended up fillin' the back of the truck! New tv cabinet, new bedroom furniture* and cute little patio set* for little sissy, new head & foot board* for my guest room. So later that night I'm talkin' to the hubs and am tellin' him about our day. Told him what I bought with my own money, what else little sissy bought and how excited we were to start puttin' stuff together. He is not in a "mood to talk" so my excitement wanes pretty fast and the call ends with my tellin' him to "call me when you want to talk to me."
Yesterday I'm pickin' up the daughter for lunch and he calls. Is in a much better mood and apologizes for being so grumpy last night. Asks what I"m doin' for the day. I tell him I'm goin' to pick up some pots and pans, a knife set, and a cordless drill (somethin' every homeowner needs) cause I figure we can buy those for her. Now for the not listenin' shit. Okay - he's totally stressed about havin' enough money for our remodel that's startin' in a few weeks. I have repeatedly said that I would get a job if I need to. I'm totally willin' to do whatever in order to not take out a loan for remodeling. I get that he doesn't want to have to do that. But he starts grillin' me on the phone about how much money I'm gonna be spendin' on these few things! Three things - not cheap things, but not bank-breakers either. I told him probably about $250.00, why? Because I spent so much money yesterday and whatever I spend will be comin' out of the remodel fund. WTF? $250.00 is gonna drain the fund? It's gonna put a total kibosh on the remodel cause we're gonna be short now by $250.00?
I ask him if he ever listens to what I say and he says yes but I spent a lot of money Monday. Okay... this is money that comes directly from my account**, not our account. The money in my account is mine to do with what I want. I say "Well, I gotta go." "You sound like you don't wanna talk." DUH! "I don't. Talk to you later."
I had been thinkin', up to this point, that therapy was helpin' and we were learnin' to communicate. I don't know how much clearer I could have been than to say "IKEA was not bought with your money." Now I totally feel like, at least for me, it's back to square one. Been feelin' near tears now for a couple days. Don't know what I can do. Yeah - sometimes he's a total tightwad, which drives me crazy, but our daughter just bought her first friggin' house and "we" can't get a few things for her? Fuck that.
IDK - I'm sure I'm ramblin'. I'm just frustrated and pissed and really bummed that we still aren't communicatin'. Lemme know if you have any ideas about how to get a guy to actually listen. Thanks...
*Things I bought at IKEA
**Which I usually use to pick up things for the house or kid or even the hubs