Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Last night, my best friend's son killed himself. Put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. His 19-year-old girlfriend found him in their living room. I spent 10 hours at her house today; holding her, loving on her kids, answering the phone, calling the mortuary, rocking the grandkids, and whatever else I could. But it doesn't help. Her heart is shattered and I can't help her. I can't make her pain go away. My heart is broken and I just don't know what to do. I feel like she said: "I don't know how to be this person." Neither one of us, actually none of us, knows how to be this person, these people. Our foundation has been so rocked.

The one thing that gave her peace today was knowing that her son was right with the Lord. She has no doubt whatsoever where he is now. I pray that she can maintain that peace; that Christ will continue to wrap her in His peace and grace and mercy.

I was posting a song on his facebook remembrance page and his little 5-year-old daughter came to see what I was doing. "Is that my daddy?" she asked me.


"Are you texting him?"

"No, I wish I was."

"Where is my daddy?"

Lord, let me let you. "He's with Jesus."

"How come?"

"Your daddy was the greatest guy and everybody loved him, but nobody loved him more than Jesus and so Jesus brought your daddy to live with him."

"Oh, okay."

Such innocence. I know that eventually, in the coming days, she is going to realize that she's never going to see her daddy again. Please Lord, give the people around her, the people who love her, the wisdom and strength to know how to help this baby. Please Lord, give me the wisdom and strength to know how to help my friend. And Jesus, please be with my friend and her family and draw them closer to You and each other as they navigate these oh-so-stormy waters.


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