Now I have admitted to being a closet slob, but this is not the same at all! In fact, I'd appreciate it if he would be a closet slob 'cause at least then his room would look clean! I have learned in the past few years to just close the door to his room. And usually I'm okay with leaving it at that. But then there are "the times." The times I open the door and can't see the floor, the times I open the door and can't see the bed, the times I open the door and the smell knocks me to my knees.
This is one of those smelly times. But when the son is asked to clean his room, we get the rolling eyes, the big sigh and the "it's not that bad" whine!!! It takes him days. It takes multiple room checks before he is finally finished. And each time is a fight. I'm tired of fighting. And of course I blame myself. "What did I teach/not teach him when he was younger?" "What am I doing wrong?" "How can he think that this is an acceptable way to live?"
And unfortunately this attitude of his doesn't just apply to his room. His homework and grades suffer the same fate. When I first asked him, on Thursday night, to clean his room over the weekend, I got the "but I've got three days worth of homework to finish" excuse. (btw...this week is spring break and he was on a youth service trip for most of it so he didn't have time to do homework until now) So I gave him a fair deal. I told him that both things need to be done by Sunday night or he will lose many privileges until it was done. (this means he has four nights and three days to get it done)
So...I'm not gonna nag him, right? (Although I do reserve the right to ask if he's done) He knows the score. He knows exactly what he'll be losing if this work is not finished in the time given. So when he goes upstairs today (Saturday) to play video games, I ask him if he's worked on his homework and he tells me he needs to get the rubric from someone. I ask him if he doesn't have the rubric in his backpack and he replies "I got it over a month ago, do you really think I'd still have it?" Am I the only one who finds this response unbelievable?? This is a project that is due Monday when he gets back to school and it's a literature project and literature is his worst subject and he's had a month to work on this and as of 6:59 p.m. on the Saturday night before spring break ends and the project is due he has not done a thing!!!
I am so at the end of my rope. I so do not know what to do with this child. I did tell him that if he wants to be a freshman again next year it's not my problem. Except it is my problem because that would mean one more year of him living in my house. Is this happening because he basically was raised as an only? (closest sib is 11 years older) I don't think he's spoiled. He knows that if he disrespects an adult he'll get his ass kicked. He knows if he wants a new video game system or video game or ipod or car or whatever, he needs to save the money for it. He knows that if he has no clean underwear he'd better do a load of laundry.
I'm tryin' to hold on to the promise that God has a plan for me and for him. And I know that we grow closer to God when we're in the shitholes of life. I just hope God's plan for him isn't workin' at MickeyD's and living in the garage. But He does want the best for us, right? I pray that the best for my son is being a successful, independent, cleanliness-is-next-to-Godliness, not living at home kind of guy! Anyway...
thanks for listenin'
p.s. I guess I'd rather him be a slobby slob than a closet slob 'cause then the smell could get really bad!