Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I Used to be Smart...

honestly!  I was quick-minded.  I could come up with the perfect snappy comeback in a nanosecond.  Now?  I'm amazed if I can tie my shoes.  Actually?  I don't know right now if I can tie my shoes since it's summer and I'm livin' in flip-flops.

Currently?  The smallest things have the ability to confuse the hell outta me.  And?  If it's something that's even slightly complicated?  I get so stressed that I cry.  I spent most of this morning trying to fill out the visa form for my trip to Russia next month.  Could they make these things any more difficult?  I need to have a sponsor just to visit the damn country!  And, of course?  I accidentally deleted the email from the hubs with Svetlana's info on it, so I couldn't put her as my sponsor.  You can actually use your hotel as a sponsor but?  I couldn't call them cause my cell plan doesn't include international calling.  Also?  The reservation is in the hubs name since he'll be there a day before I will.  Shit the bed.

I try calling the Russian Consulate in Houston, push eightygazillion buttons, then hear "Thank you for calling.  Have a nice day," click.  WTF?  This happened three times!  I'm thinkin' that if the damn Russkies knew how I could stimulate their economy on my 5 day visit, they'd be rollin' out the red carpet!  Right?

So just as I'm about to pull out the few hairs I have remaining on my head?  The hubs calls!  It's kismet or fate or some kinda shit like that!  He tells me to call his secretary, the Travel Goddess Leslie, and she'll get it all taken care of for me!  Huh!  More people!  Did I mention how I love having people?  Specially now since my brain is mushy shit.

I call the Travel Goddess Leslie and all I have to do is email her some information, get a passport picture (yeah...another one) and meet her for coffee to give her the photo and my passport.  Who knew?!  So?  Those dumb asshats at the Russian Consulate in Houston can kiss my big, white, butt!  I'll get to their fuckin' country without them.  And let's just see how much I stimulate their economy!  Okay, okay, I'll still be stimulating their economy but I'm gonna bitch about it.

Now?  I just ordered concert tickets for the hubs and the boy and a friend to go to the Scorpions concert at the end of the month.  I know right?  Scorpions?!  Anyway, I have ordered concert tickets a bajillion times through Live Nation.  Yet?  They still expect me to remember my freakin' password!  So I spend about 10 minutes gettin' a new password, re-setting the password, puttin' in all the credit card info and shit that they are supposed to remember if I remember my password and finally get the tickets.  These boys better appreciate me!

On a lighter note (least til November 2nd) I got my Republican National Committee pin in the mail.  Good thing too since no one would ever know I'm a Republican.  Unless?  They happen to notice the Tea Party sticker on my jeep, the Republican elephant hitch cover on my jeep, or the Republican elephant tattoo on my ankle!  Doh!
And?  Don't be a hater...Republicans have feelings too!


  1. I won't be a hater. I love your posts too much.

  2. I actually agree more with the Republicans :)

  3. Cheers to Republicans woot woot!!!

  4. Think you better anty up for Leslie's coffee! Stress kindof takes an egg beater to the brain. Once you are farther along in therapy your eggs-brains- will unscramble.

  5. Everyone should have a Travel Goddess Leslie in their lives. Pretty exciting stuff ... you're almost shopping in Russia!!!


don't hold back - tell me how you really feel!