Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Is Your Bush-Waxed

Okay...I think I must be missing something.  In a recent conversation with a couple of younger friends I found out?  That Brazilians are a must-do!  Did y'all know this?  I just don't know about this.  It seems kinda pedophilist-like to me.  Really?  Guys dig a naked pussy?  I thought having pubes proved you were a grown-up and could have sex.  After you got married, of course.  Also?  I thought you had pubes to hide your crotch.  After all...pussies are not the most attractive body part.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my crotch, but, really?  Guys wanna look at that naked?

And the guys.  I guess they're supposed to get waxed as well.  "It makes it look bigger."!!!!!  Who the hell cares if it looks bigger?  We all know what size it really is.  And?  It also is not the most attractive body part.  I can see enough of it as it is.  I don't need to see it naked.

I confess I was adverse to pubic hair when I was 12.  When I would get in the bathtub after skiing all day? And I would notice two pubes?  I would pull them out.  Eventually I had to give up that habit...

  1. They were growing in faster than I could pull them out.  And?
  2. It fuckin' hurt to tweeze the pussy!
So, here I am years later with a nicely groomed bush.  But a naked one?  Not a chance in hell.  

I was gettin' my haircut the other day in Santa Fe (southwest mecca for weirdos) and there was a person next to me gettin' their hair done.  This was a big person with really big hands and really big feet although both the fingers and toes had a lovely shade of pink nail polish on.  Shit...meant to ask the color and forgot.

Anyway...this person is getting Texas hair.  You know?  Like you'd see on Dallas or Knot's Landing or something.  Now I wish I could grow me some Texas hair.  I don't want Texas hair, I just wish I could grow it so I could be a little versatile with my do's.

Have you noticed?  That I keep calling this person "this person"?  Because?  When this person opened their mouth?  A guy's voice came out.  When I was tellin' the hubs and kid this later, the hubs wants to know if I could see their Adam's Apple?  I guess that's a dead giveaway that the chick you're talkin' to used to be a guy.  Whatever.

But?  Then I got to wondering.  What if you used to be a guy?  And now you're a chick?  And you went so far as to even have your parts changed out?  Do you still grow pubic hair?  I mean, if they take skin from your belly to make your pussy?  Will hair grow?  Or do you not even have to worry about bein' all in touch and style with a Brazilian cause your's is permanent?  So I did a little googlin'... (I love google!  You can find anything.)

Female-to-Male Hormone Treatment
For FtMs, hormone treatment is quite simple – testosterone! Typically, FtMs use testosterone cypionate, an injectable testosterone that the patient injects once every two weeks. It is possible for FtMs to acquire testosterone pills or patches but this is rare, as the side effects are greater. The amount is controlled by the individual’s endocrinologist but 200 mg is quite normal (Israel, 1997, 67). The result is quite remarkable. These individuals experience a second puberty. Facial, body and male-pattern pubic hair develops rapidly; muscle mass increases over time; the voice lowers to a typical male level; the skin thickens to a coarser level. Menstruation ceases, usually within three months and the body redistributes fat, which increases the waist size and decreases the fat pockets around the hips. The breasts do not reduce in size and height growth is not possible. A FtM can expect to gain around 10% in weight due to these changes (as well as increased hunger) (Israel, 1997; Whittle, 1998).
Testosterone is a much stronger steroid than estrogen and thus kills off much of the estrogen within the body. In addition, testosterone causes the body to stop producing estrogen, creating a chemical infirtilization.
In addition to the desired benefits, there are also potential side effects. These include (but are not limited to) “increased cholesterol and higher lipid levels; heart disease, including myocardial infarction; mood changes (irritability or depression); male-pattern baldness; acne” (Israel, 1997, 68). Although there is potential for problems associated with testosterone treatment, mortality rates among transsexuals are no different than amongst the general population (Van Kesteren, 1997).
Male-to-Female Hormone Treatment
MtF hormone treatment is much more complicated than FtM treatment. As was mentioned before, testosterone is a brutal steroid, destroying estrogen. Thus, when working with MtFs, it is necessary to first inhibit testosterone production prior to estrogen and progesterone intake. Usually, MtFs are treated with antiandrogens in order to do this. A typical regimen for a MtF includes antiandrogens (usually cypertone acetate), estrogen (often Premarin) and progesterone (often Provera). These are usually taking orally, twice daily. Unfortunately, the MtF hormone treatment does not offer ideal femininity. The treatment does not raise the voice if it is already damaged by testosterone nor does it reverse balding or hair growth in unwanted places such as the face. In addition, the penis size will not decrease with these hormones, although erections will become practically impossible and one’s libido is diminished. Estrogen and progesterone do reposition the body fat into more
18feminine places and is the cause of breast growth. Future body hair growth will be minimal and the skin can often soften.*

Guys turnin' into chicks do have a permanent Brazilian!  But chicks turnin into guys?  Still need that wax job to get it right.

Me:  Did you know the current trend is to be naked down there?

Hubs:  What?

Me:  Yeah.  So would you get the boys waxed if I asked?

Hubs:  Are you high?

So...guess we old folk'll always be outta style, blissfully unaware of the recent trends.  Damn.  Cause I was so lookin' forward to hot wax all over the crotch.  Not.

Also?  Does anyone else see that annoying fuckin' whatever-it-is from photobucket on my blog or is it just me?  And?  If you do see it?  How the fuck do I get it off?



  1. Wow! No way am I waxing down there. That's just insane. I guess that makes me old and not Brazilian. Oh well.

    And yes, I see the photobucket thing. Sorry, no idea how to get rid of it though.

    Cheers :-)
    - CoconutPalmDesigns

  2. so I've totally asked my husband to go bare and he did like a buzz cut thing lol. Is that TMI? oh well. but ya i'm bare...have been since i started growing em down there...i used to do just bikini but then one day i just didnt want any.
    ya and what the hell is up with that photobucket thing? lol GET RID OF IT DAMN IT! Its blocking my reading.

  3. I was completely cracking up at this- not good when my 4 year-old is asking me what's so funny.

  4. What IS that photobucket thing?

    That's weird.

    And I? Go through stages. Wild and natural, then trimmed, then trimmed a little more, then nothing, then back to wild. I like to change it up every once in a while.

    Also? Completely bare? Way sensitive. Thought you'd want to know.

    Hmmmm . . . I am off!

  5. I do see the photobucket thing and I would suggest you ask Mr. Google because I am just not savy when it comes to these sort of things. ;-)

    As for the waxing of the lady, it is never going to happen. I just can't imagine spending that kind of money on something that only hubs and I see?! I do keep things trimmed and tidy but the waxing is a no!


don't hold back - tell me how you really feel!