Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I Musta Been High...

or smokin' crack or dippin' into the xanax bottle a little too frequently cause I did somethin' today that I try to avoid like housework, cooking, the laundry room the plague.

I had to drive down the "hill" today to pick up a wedding gift and since I was only about 15 minutes from "the wal-mart", figured I'd run in there to pick up a foldin' dryin' rack for the laundry room. (see - I don't totally avoid the laundry room - I can just throw the rack in there, slam the door, and let the laundry figure out how to hang itself *big grin* pun totally intended)

Then I figured I might as well pick up the "Manwich" we're gonna have for dinner and save a stop at the grocery store.  While I'm lookin' for the "Manwich" I see boxes of frozen hamburgers.  See, the hubs has this crazy, insane, stoopid great idea, since we live only two blocks away,  to feed high-schoolers on Fridays.

I been tryin' to be a good wife.  (What?  Okay - stop laughin'.  It's true!  Not happenin' often, but gimme some credit for tryin') So I add 64 burgers, 64 buns, 48 dr. peppers, six bags of chips, and a case of water to my up-til-now practically empty (and of course completely whack) cart.

So, there I am, tryin' to wrestle the damn cart into a check-out...find one that looks not-too-bad.  Shit!  All check-outs in "the wal-mart" are. that. bad.  So I'm waitin' for a frickin' half hour, the check-out guy has gotta be 90 if he's a day, and they have the freakin' heat ON!!!  Really?  The heat is on?  OMG!!!  (It is 85 degrees outside - which is so extreme since it was snowing on Sunday)

I can't believe I made it outta there without screamin', cussin', or killin'.  Why is it that I "forget" how ghetto "the wal-mart" is for a few months?  (and have y'all been to that website "people of wal-mart?"  I swear they get all those pictures from "the wal-mart" near me!)  And then go back thinkin' "Hey - maybe "the wal-mart" has turned into Tar-jay."

Sometimes stoopid just wins.


  1. Remember, Natalie and I got our truck stolen from that parking lot. It was when we were there to get her stocked up for Oakbridge, so yes she was in midschool.

    I almost didn't recognize your blog. Great facelift. Love you and miss you Miss Cathy. Stop by and hang out.

  2. I do not shop at WalMart unless the girls need something that can be found nowhere else. I hate WalMart. For all of the reasons you describe, and for one more . . . the girls make fun of people.

    And they do not use their quiet voices.

    My daughters seem to be of the opinion that if there are no WalMart rules for personal grooming, clothing, or weirdness? Then the rules about politely pretending not to notice these offenses has been suspended as well.

    And then, as we go through the store, my daughters happily pointing out tattooed man or hugely obese woman in stretch pants? We become just another part of the humiliating sideshow that is WalMart.

    Hate that.

    And this is www.prettyalltrue.com, by the way.

    Blogger hates me.

  3. LOVE THAT!!! and i think your girls are totally right - no grooming=no pretending! LMAO!


don't hold back - tell me how you really feel!