Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Friday, May 14, 2010

My First Award!

OMGosh!  I got my first bloggin' award today - how freakin' excitin'!!!  


With this award comes some chores duties ... first, I must thank the blogger who honored me. Thanks so much jayaycee!  I feel so honored :O)  Please stop by and give her a visit.  I am thrilled to be recognized and promise to try not to disappoint, but make no guarantees...


Second - I must tell you seven things about me...

1.  I do not cook.  I can cook, I just choose not to.  I would so much rather call for take-out or make reservations the hubs cook and I do clean up.  A big reason for this is that the hubs does not wipe the counter or rinse out the sink well.  I have been tryin' to do better at the whole "dinner on the table when the man gets home from work" since I "semi-retired,"  but, nah, if the hubs wants a real dinner and not a PB&J for dinner, he still needs to cook it.  Just sayin'.

2.  At the age of 43, I got my labia, tongue, nose pierced.  I have been told that I am an enigma...an ultra-conservative, Republican Christian who wears Eddie Bauer, Ralph Lauren, and Tiffany and drops the f-bomb, talks dirty, and pierces my nose.  I just like to shake things up.

3.  Part of shakin' things up was gettin' my first tattoo, on my nipples shoulder, when I was 33.  I've been told they are addictin'.  I find that to be bullshit absolutely true...now I have Woodstock on my left foot, the Republican elephant on my right ankle (shut up - it's true and it's fuckin' awesome!), "a safe life is a wasted life" on the top of my right foot, a Jesus fish with the kiddos initials in it inside my left wrist, and a cross behind my left ear. I think the next one will be the anarchy symbol or a pot leaf the Celtic motherhood symbol.  (quit askin' and google it - sheesh)

4.  The second and third toes on my right foot grow together which sucked when I was in jr. high cause all the cool bitches, sluts, whores girls wore toe socks and I could not.  Thus I was relegated to the second tier of popularity ... date the football player, but NOT the captain of the team, be the softball player, but NOT the pitcher.  Jebus, was I glad when the damn socks went outta style.

5.  I went to six schools from 9th through 12th grade.  Nothin' witty to say about that - totally sucked ass!

6.  I have at least one STD rock from every place I've ever visited.  Various Caribbean islands, Venezuela , all of North America, Omaha Beach, a diverse collection from different European countries.  Funny true story...comin' home from Santa Barbara, checkin' in at LAX.  Airline guy asks me what's in my suitcase?  A bag of rocks?  Tells me he needs to weigh it.  Comes back and tells me I need to lose about 15 pounds or pay an extra $75.00.  I drop the bag on the floor, unzip it, and pull out a bag o' rocks!  Airline guy just about peed his pants laughin'.

7.  One of the biggest compliments anyone can give me is to tell me I "drive like a guy"!!  I love cars, I love speed, and I love a manual transmission.  I think it started when I lost my virginity in a 1980 Corvette (in 1980, natch)

Next, I need to pass the award on to fifteen blogs I've recently (or perhaps not so recently) discovered and that I think fuckin' rock!

Finally, I need to let each of these wonderful women know I adore them and am passing on my Versatile Blogger award to them! This I will be working on all freakin' night...


  1. Awwww...thanks! I am so honored to receive this award! There sure is some awfully good company up there.

    Oh, and if you're a conservative Republican who likes to cuss.....you should really check out Chief at Hiding From the Kids. :)

    (But if you try to check her out right at this moment, you won't be able to. She's doing something top secret and has it set to private. I almost had a panic attack thinking she blocked me!) <--I was getting ready to kick her ever lovin' arse.

  2. Stoppimg by from Pretty All True. I love your #2. Good stuff.

  3. It is so nice of you to pass this honor on to me. Really means a lot. I am kinda stunned after reading your list. We have so much in common. Okay wait, back that up. No really. No tattoos, one pierce though....and sorry but my toes all separate.

    But we have he same sense of humor. So at least there is that!


    (ugh. you need to allow name/url for comments. cuz now it links to my old blog. sorry. fyi)

  4. Hey! I finally found this freaking thing! I realized for some reason my blog put www. in front of your url and blogger hates that www crap. So I kept thinking you didn't actually have one and were just messing with me. But you do exist!

    Your blog is so cute. Damn kids needing me..more in a bit.

  5. Thank you! I really appreciate your love and support for my little Monkey and the rest of the gang.

  6. OK,I'm back for more. Thanks for thinking of me. I can't wait to check out these other blogs and I really am glad I finally found out you are real and that you collect rocks. That's fucking weird. What do you do with the rocks when you get home? Like, do you have a cabinet for them? I really need to know this.

    Thanks for the award and I'll be sure to pass it on!

  7. Thank you so much for the award! I am honored to be in such fine company! And I am honored to have recently connected with you - you are a fine and funny person! I love your comments!

    Thank you again.

    Pretty All True here . . . Blogger calls me anonymous, but I am so not.

  8. You're very welcome - you deserve it!

    Loved your 7 things ... the bag of rocks is such a hoot!!!

  9. Thanks for giving me the award! I love awards, but I have to tell you, I FUCKING SUCK at paying them forward. Not because I don't want to, but I'm lazy. There. I said it.

    Thanks so much!


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