Warning: Okay - I love Jesus. But...I can cuss like a sailor and talk dirty like a porn star. Feel free to have a look around and try not to be offended - it's the way God made me and He loves me anyway!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Proper Potty Etiquette

Attention children ...
the bathroom door is closed!

·      Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions.  Wait until I get out.
·      Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped.
·      I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.
·      Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.
·      Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.
·      Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!"
·      Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.
·      Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.
·      Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.
·      If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.
·      And yes, I still love you.



  1. Love this post. Awesome.

    They should print this up and distribute it at school. Because papers my girls get from school -- GOSPEL.

    Stuff I say 4 million times?

    Not so much.

    And damn it, this is Pretty All True again.

  2. You are so right! My son never lets me go in peace either!
    Here's the answers to your questions. Friday Follow happens on Friday and you link up to Friday Follow and than you follow people and they follow you back

    and Secret in the Sauce is a fun place where you meet other lady bloggers, you join in the site, put the badge on your blog and whenever you see that badge on other blogs you leave a comment to your sistas. It's a lot of fun and every day you go on the site and do roll call. I hope that helps!
    Have a great day,

  3. When my girls were little, the bathroom was my ditch-the-kids place. I'd hide in there to eat candy (because they sure didn't need any sugar) and they'd stand outside the door and listen to the wrapper crinkling and say, "What are you doing in there?" Soooo annoying! ;D


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